"Normal"

I always struggle with the word "normal". I know, in life there really aren't "normal" circumstances or such. But I can't help but to think of how "un-normal" our family is. I can't help but to think it isn't fair. This kind of thinking is so selfish and ridiculous I know, but like I said, I can't help these feelings.

Even though I am married, I am often a "single parent", like EVERY week!!! I would be lying if I tried to sugar coat it and act like it didn't bother me, but it does. I am left with a feeling of loneliness every week when my husband leaves on Sunday afternoons to travel 6 hours away for work. He doesn't return until Thursday evenings. 

I truly wish I knew what it felt like to sleep next to my husband every night. I wish I knew what it would be like to spend every evening during the week across the table from the man who stole my heart. Our life together has always consisted of him being gone every week, so you would think that I would be used to it by now. It's quite the opposite honestly, it gets harder and harder to deal with the loneliness and I miss him more, and more, and more. As Parker grows older and realizes that his daddy isn't there for multiple days during the week, it's tough! 

I realize that some people may think that I knew when I married the man, so it's what I chose. It is!! Exactly, I didn't care if I got one day with this man or three, I knew God worked a miracle in uniting us together. He is my highschool sweetheart, odd for a highschool girl to date a guy that was only home on the weekends, but we were made for each other. We compliment each other in every way possible to compliment another person. 

Even though I am so passionate about this guy, and am so lonely without him during the week, I know that this is Gods plan. He is making our love SO strong right now!!!! He knows what we need, he is delivering that, even though it may bring heart ache. Our God has plans for us, he is working on us and answering our prayers. I know that God will lead my husband to a job somewhere close to home soon, I can feel His plan working in our family. 

On the other hand, I know how truly blessed I am to have a husband that isn't gone for year, on the other side of the country, and at least is home on the weekends. I am blessed to have a husband with a great job, that he loves doing. I am blessed to have a husband with such a strong work-ethic! He works 40 hours in 3.5 days and them comes home and works cattle EVERY DAY, he works 7 days a week and most likely more than 80 hours a week. I am blessed. 

May God bless you!

Dakota